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Gender
Most people think of
gender as either male
or female
but it is not that simple. Gender is what lies between our ears and is complex;
it involves sex, genetics, gender identity,
gender expression and gender role.
Sex
is what lies between our legs and is determined at birth. However not all babies
are born with genitals that
are easy to classify. Female appearing infants can have testicles instead of
ovaries. Likewise some apparent boys will have ovaries instead of testicles. Others are born with
genitals that have both male and female features. While these infants are
eventually assigned exclusively to either male or female sex by a
multidisciplinary medical team they are truly “between sexes” or intersex.
The current medical term for intersex is disorder of sex development (DSD)
but it is offensive to many intersex adults.
The word hermaphrodite comes from Greek mythology and is
considered stigmatizing when applied to humans.
Genetics can
be used to identify gender. While genitals and genetics usually match they sometimes
do not. Males usually have XY chromosomes
and females usually have XX but sometimes they are switched. Others have different
chromosome
combinations such as XO, XXY and XYY. Variations such as these show that even
on a genetic level gender is not black and white.
Gender identity is how a person feels on the inside regardless of their
body’s appearance. Most children know their gender by 3 years of age. People do not
choose their gender
identity.
Some
people’s bodies do not match their gender identities. Instead they may feel
that they are the opposite gender, between genders, both genders or neither. Words used by gender
minorities to describe themselves include MTF
transsexual (male-to-female) or trans-woman, FTM transsexual
(female-to-male) or trans-guy,
transgender,
intergender, bigender,
ambigender, gender
queer, gender fluid
and androgyne.
Gender expression may be different than gender
identity. Some people may identify as one gender but choose to dress and present
themselves as another. A few examples of this are transvestites, crossdressers, drag queens (female impersonators) and drag kings (male
impersonators).
Gender role
is the degree of masculinity or femininity that we display by our behaviors as categorized by societal norms. Examples of this are "tomboy"
girls and "sissy" boys. In the United States
there is much more social acceptance of gender role deviance among females than
among males.
Sexuality
Sexual orientation refers to the relationship between
our own gender and the
gender to which we are sexually and emotionally attracted. It is not known what
causes sexual orientation, but science has shown that both genetics and the
environment have a role. People do not
choose their sexual orientation.
Most people know that sexual orientation can be heterosexual
(attracted to the opposite sex), homosexual
(attracted to the same sex) or bisexual (attracted to both sexes). However, sexual orientation
is actually a scale with most people leaning one way or the other in varying
degrees. Additionally, some people are not attracted to either gender and
consider themselves to be asexual.
Words used by sexual minorities to describe themselves include gay, lesbian, bisexual,
queer
and questioning.
Homosexuality is present in all countries and cultures.
History tells us that homosexuality has always existed among humans. It has also
been observed in more than 1500 animal species including bonobo chimpanzees,
bison, dolphins, giraffes and penguins. Homosexuality is both natural and common. It is not a mental disorder.
Sexual orientation is not
the same as sexual experience. It is common for youths to experiment with
sex in ways that are different from their sexual orientation. Some youths are
aware of their sexual orientation by early adolescence before any form of sexual
experimentation. Others experiment sexually with either or both sexes before
gaining self-awareness. Even though homosexuals make up less than 10% of the
population, 1/3 of heterosexuals have experienced an orgasm with someone of
their own gender. Finally, some people may continue to feel confused about their
sexual orientation for awhile.
Counseling may be helpful to sort out these issues, but attempts
to change sexual orientation should not be made.
“The
nation’s leading professional medical, health, and mental health
organizations do not support efforts to change young people’s sexual
orientation through therapy and have raised serious concerns about the
potential harm from such efforts."
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American Psychological Association
Support
and Resources
Most LGBTQI
(lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender/transsexual, queer/questioning, intersex) youths know their undisclosed gender identity or sexual
orientation long before they are willing to share it.
This is because coming out can be very scary and difficult and have
negative consequences. Unfortunately it
is still common for LGBTQI youths to experience rejection, isolation,
discrimination, harassment and physical violence. As such they are at higher
risk for low self-esteem, risky or self destructive behaviors, homelessness and
suicide.
Given the difficulties and challenges that LGBTQI persons face,
many groups and organizations have formed to reach out and provide support. Links to many
of these organizations can be found here.
Some important resources to highlight are The Trevor Project, The It Get Better Project, HRC's
Coming Out Project and PFLAG.
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The Trevor Project is a 24 hour
help line that is available to anyone who needs a listening ear.
http://www.thetrevorproject.org
866.4.U.TREVOR
(866.488.7386)
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The It Get Better Project is an inspiring collection of over 10,000 user-created videos from around the world that was created to show young LGBT people the levels of happiness, potential, and positivity their lives will reach – if they can just get through their teen years. The It Gets Better Project wants to remind teenagers in the LGBT community that they are not alone — and it WILL get better.
http://www.itgetsbetter.org
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HRC's
Coming Out Project helps LGBTQI, as
well as straight-supportive people live openly and talk about their support for
equality at home, at work and in their communities each and every day.
http://www.hrc.org/issues/coming_out.asp
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Parents, Families and
Friends of Lesbians and Gays provides support and resources for families and friends of LGBTQI
individuals.
http://www.pflag.org
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